Striving For Normal

Working in a hospital is like traipsing through a Salvador Dali painting.

Everyone there knows something is wrong but they can't quite put their finger on it. They walk through the halls convincing themselves that what they see at every turn is normal. It is most certainly not normal. When I first started working I thought I was going to need to prepare myself ala Dave Chapelle when he describes preparing himself for going to the ghetto: "I'm gonna see some loud shit, I need to prepare myself. I'm gonna see something crazy". And crazy is there, don't get me wrong. But by the time the crazy comes you've already been lulled into a stupor by the constant state of sickness, of the unknown, anxiousness, shattered hopes, the 5th last straw. The way it sneaks up on you is sinister. Soon all of that becomes what we call "normal". If you aren't tracking with me, let me describe a recent situation.

A person codes, which is hospital talk for drops dead, in the middle of a hall surrounded by children and myself. During all this a fellow chaplain who was there asked me if I wouldn't mind terribly grabbing his lunch that was left in the cafeteria when he came up. I happily obliged him. It was around that time, when shouts of: "Eppy now!" rang through the unit, life hung in the balance, and with children screaming that the San Diego Chargers cheerleaders came prancing into the unit heading directly into this divine comedy. They waved their pom poms as if cheering death toward the goal line. He must have been inspired that day, it was 1st and inches. Sadly, I had to leave the game, I had plans of my own. I was late to play video games with a patient before he went to surgery. I won, 4-0. Not sure how well Death rounded out the day but I know of 1 victory for sure. You keep telling yourself this can't possibly be real, can it?

I now see part of my job is to be a remembrance to the patients and families of what normal actually is, standing as an effigy of what life is for most and ought to be for them as well. The only problem is that effigies have a tendency of getting burned.

A song always comes to mind when I'm trying to describe this feeling: Pearl Jam - Elderly Woman Behind The Counter In A Small Town << right click and listen in a new tab

I seem to recognize your face.
Haunting familiar, yet I can't seem to place it.
Cannot find the candle of thought to light your name.
Lifetimes are catching up with me.
All these changes taking place.
I wish I'd seen the place but no one's ever taken me.

Hearts and thoughts they fade, fade away.

I swear I recognize your breath.
Memories, like fingerprints, are slowly raising.
Me you wouldn't recall for I'm not my former.
It's hard when your stuck upon the shelf.
I changed by not changing at all.
Small town predicts my fate.
Perhaps that's what no one wants to see.
I just want to scream, "Hello."
My god its been so long.
Never dreamed you'd return.
But now here you are and here I am.
Hearts and thoughts they fade away.

Hearts and thoughts they fade, fade away.
Hearts and thoughts they fade away. Yeah.
Hearts and thoughts they fade, fade away.
Hearts and thoughts they fade...

Conversations In A Hospital

"I like to listen to metal. I have a bunch of Ozzy Osbourne records."
"So you like Black Sabbath? Are you into Led Zeppelin at all."

"I've been playing some video games, but they aren't very good."
"What do they have?"
"Thrillville."
"Isn't that the game where you make roller coasters?"
"Yea."
"Yea, that's no good."

"Hello, I'm a chaplain."
"It's alright, no thanks."

"I was walking down the street in broad day light and two men grabbed me and tried to kidnap me. One of them had a knife and he stabbed me here in the shoulder. Ever since then I pray a lot."
"I bet."

"I want to have 3 inch spikes drilled into my spine. It's gonna be cool."
"How are you going to sit in a chair?"

"Did Jesus have a last name? Was it Christ?"
"No, I think he was like Prince and Madonna."
"Jesus H Christ. And what does the H stand for?"
"Hoobastank."

"I'm looking forward to Friday night karaoke at the Convalescent Hospital."
"I'm bringing a video camera."

"How was the luau at lunch?"
"Good. Smoke from the BBQ was getting sucked into the Operating Rooms though. The surgeons are pissed."
"Did they stop the BBQ?"
"Nope."

"How did you get hurt?"
"Playing football."
"What position do you play?"
"Defensive Tackle."
"Hmmm... I guess I better pray that you get bigger too."

"Have any of your friends come to visit you?"
"No. I haven't told them that I'm in the hospital."
"Why not?"
"It's embarrassing."
"Being in the hospital doesn't mean you're weak, it just means you're human."

*Finish praying*
"I'm sorry I'm crying."
"You don't need to apologize."

More to come...

Red Ring Of Death

We all live with fear to some extent.

For example, I have always been afraid of heights, they just make me very uncomfortable. I don't how I worked as a High Adventure Guide when I worked at Hume Lake. Even watching something on TV where guys are on top of high high rise buildings or something will cause me to sweat a little. Granted my TV with HD is more clear then when I look out a window, but still.

Another great fear that I have, a great fear that all Xbox 360 owners have, is the Red Ring Of Death. It means that your console has had a major hardware failure, usually because the console has overheated. Then it magically becomes a $400 paper weight.That right there is the Red Ring Of Death. Not any old generic picture of the Red Ring Of Death. That is my Red Ring Of Death. Yea. Luckily, Microsoft knows that they really screwed up in making their GPU from thier own specs and sending it to Taiwan for 10 year olds in sweat shops to make rather than sending it to a reputable producer. So a RROD means you can get a free fix no matter when your warranty expired; mine expired in May.

All I wanted to do was have a nice quiet Sunday at home killing zombies. Nope. Hopefully in a few weeks I can get back on the horse.

So a Rabbi, a Catholic, a Evangelical, a Unitarian and two Seventh Day Adventists walk into a Children's Hospital...

The beginning of of bad joke? Nope... my hospital chaplaincy program has begun.

I'm about a week into the CPE Chaplaincy Internship at Rady Children's Hospital. As you have already read, the interns are all from varying backgrounds. It's been fun the last few days, all the interns are very curious about the others beliefs, denominations, how a worship service works, everything. We did a meditation together the other day by reading through a Psalm. I couldn't help but think about how I could probably count all the people at Talbot who would feel comfortable doing this spiritual exercise on one hand. The fact that I am completely comfortable is one of the reasons why I feel like this is where I ought to be. And I know I will be helping people in great need.

I am by far the youngest; probably have about a decade on the next person and most others are in their 40's. If I were at a normal hospital I may have felt at a disadvantage because of this. I have already felt the ageism of being a young chaplain when I was going around with Pastor Curt in Whittier. But at a Children's Hospital I feel like my age is now an advantage. I'm used to working with Jr. High and High School aged students and this will be much the same in that regard.

I said I would be getting to help people in great need. The despair is written all over the faces of the people when you walk down the hall. I have barely been in the hospital except for a tour and you couldn't walk through a unit without seeing the familiar sight of red eyes and the lumbering shuffle of a parent with the weight of life and death on their back. They all look for a place to hide, a bench or elevator, away from the children to whom they say everything will be ok.

It makes me sad to think about but excited to know that I will help.

Lowered Expectations = Crap

I have been having to give some warnings before my posts as of late and this one is no different. Many people see the church or church leaders and to say anything negative is unwanted. I understand why. However I am very critical of church leaders, just as critical as I am of myself. I put them up to a standard I set for myself and it's high, especially youth pastors.

The youth pastor of our church spoke on Sunday in "Big Church" while Pastor Tim is away. It was not good. My actual words to Rachelle as we left were: "That was painful... painful". You know you are in for a treat when the first words to hear are: "Websters Dictionary defines...". Oh wait, not treat, I meant mediocre High School essay. He went on to teach a topical sermon on "bad habits" where he essentially said alcoholism, depression, etc. are the same as biting your nails, not putting your dirty socks in the laundry basket, etc. and all were solved by simply thinking of God more. It was obvious that he had never been through any of the things he talked about. Also obvious was that he had never gotten out of a Christian culture, telling us we shouldn't watch certain movies while he was up there. It was a "weaker brother" placed in a leadership position that is most likely beyond him.

He was up there and pretty much everyone knew it was bad but is there any repercussion for it? The response of the churchgoers for the most part was the normal: "I need to be positive and get something out of this!". The other response and by far the most dangerous was: "Well, he's just the youth pastor... sooo yea". It is the fact that we are ok with crap that really bothers me. We make excuses for crap, when what we should be saying is: "This crap is unacceptable". If anything we ought to expect more from our youth leaders than we do from those speaking to adults. When parents are going to work do they have pressures everyday to cheat, lie, steal, are they encouraged to have promiscuous sexual relationships, to drink, do drugs, hitting the depths of depression and suicide with no one to talk to? Think I'm wrong? Think it isn't your teen? That's where many of our youth are. Have a conversation with a teen who is choking themselves in order to stop feeling... anything... and they think it isn't a big deal, and let me know how big a deal it is that they have good teachers. Have a conversation with a student with cancer, a girl whose been raped, clinically diagnosed as bipolar, likes to cut themselves, thinks meth is "no big deal". Are we ok teaching them crap as long as they are out of our hair? Do we as parents/guardians value our time over our children? You may say no but what do our actions say?

Lowering our expectations of the church and her leaders is a sure way to destroy any hope we have in helping people and especially youth. Most parents I worked with were interested in a babysitter for their kids which meant more events. Never mind if the events had any lasting spiritual significance, nor if they made outsiders welcome. I can't tell you how angry and frustrating it all is.

Rapture: The Church Strikes Back

I knew when I wrote the Rapture Is A Lie blog that I wouldn't be able to answer all the questions people would have. It's hard enough to keep people's attention when a post gets long, throw in that it's on a theological topic and you're entering dangerous water. As an example, Rachelle has already given up reading this post. ^__^

Kat had a question about another passage in her comment on the first blog. If the Thessalonians passage is the #1 response, then these passages are #2 most common but they are more nuanced than Thess. I refer the the "taken and left" passages found in Matthew 24 and Luke 17: "One will be taken and the other left. There will be two women grinding together. One will be taken and the other left". Both of these passages, unlike the Thessalonians passage, are talking about end times which does make this a point of interest for this topic. What is Jesus talking about in these passages, is it a rapture that they have been "taken" by?

First, let me outline some of my presuppositions that I try to come to any text with when it comes to interpretation. You already know that I don't believe in the rapture, but even if I did I certainly wouldn't come to this or any text with that in mind because it would cloud my interpretation. All I am coming at this with is a knowledge of who is speaking, who is being spoken to, who is the author, what is the authors themes for the book/passage, what kind of literature is this (narrative, poetry, parable, etc). I'm not using a commentary really, but I already have knowledge of what some commentators say which can also hamper me making up my own mind. I want to be as impartial as possible. I like to think I do this very well. No theology is necessarily set in stone, all is questioned and processed constantly. This kind of thing made my fellow students uncomfortable with me at times. Oh well. It's how my brain works, it's tiresome at times. I spent 7 years getting a Bible undergrad and master's degree and to this day and nearly everyday I will reexamine the evidences and lack for believing in a god. Nearly everyday! I don't really want to do it, but it's there in my head with friends like rapture and others being rethought through in a never ending examination. Tiring.

However this can make for much frustration when you are in the real world where there are deadlines and you are still trying to fit it all together. (Consequently, many of my papers for my Master's degree were late). Really it is like a tapestry, finely woven, intricately patterned, beautiful. We do the Bible such a disservice; we do Jesus such a disservice in our inability to convey how amazing his teaching is. We focus so much on the content that we lose the man in all of it. His style and the depth at which he understands his audience and material is awe inspiring to me as a teacher myself. And forsaking this means we can lose the content we are after. I'll post my interpretation of the mustard seed parable sometime as an example.

See, long winded soap box action. I'm losing people so here goes.

I'll start with Matthew just because his train of thought is easier to see because it is straight forward while Luke is tying together some events that are harder to see the connections. Remember, the gospels are not annals, they aren't history books. Yes they contain historical fact, but that is superseded by what the author wants to teach the reader. Luke and Matthew don't use Jesus' words verbatim because that does not suit their objective. This is sort of a foreign concept to Western minds but it's pretty much the way it is.

This is what I want to you to do when reading the Bible, you probably do it with every other book except the Bible naturally, feel the emotion the author is bringing across. Now I don't mean get some fuzzy feeling, i mean be in awe, be sad, be struck by the compassion of Jesus. Let it penetrate you mentally but also emotionally and spiritually.

After reading these passages for a few hours over and over, processing it over and over again there is a sobering, somber feeling. The reason is because these two passages are essentially a warning. Jesus is exhorting the disciples to watchfulness and preparedness through an introspective understanding of ourselves/the things we may value above God. Are we doing what is right? What do we value? Specifically he says, "Whoever seeks to preserve his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life will keep it". But also very practically, this is warning against following false prophets/messiahs. The key illustration that was really perplexing but now makes sense was Jesus saying: "Wherever the corpse is, there the vultures will gather". A very dark, almost sinister illustration of what is happening and integral to the explanation of those "taken and left".

Matthew 24:15-28 explains that there will be false prophets, people calling themselves messiah, and rumors of messiah and people are going to fall for it. Jesus says: "So, if they say to you, 'Look, he is in the wilderness,' do not go out. If they say, 'Look, he is in the inner rooms,' do not believe it". Instead he likens his return to like lightning. Everyone will see it, they 'll hear it, it will be obvious: "For as the lightning comes from the east and shines as far as the west, so will be the coming of the Son of Man". Those who are fooled are following after death, they have put their hope and belief in nothing and therefore scavenge a corpse: "Wherever the corpse is, there the vultures will gather". It means destruction of the soul that they have brought upon themselves for whatever reason brought them out.

Jesus then likens this destruction to other examples in Matthew 24:36-44:
But concerning that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels of heaven, nor the Son, but the Father only. For as were the days of Noah, so will be the coming of the Son of Man. For as in those days before the flood they were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, until the day when Noah entered the ark, and they were unaware until the flood came and swept them all away, so will be the coming of the Son of Man. Then two men will be in the field; one will be taken and one left. Two women will be grinding at the mill; one will be taken and one left.Therefore, stay awake, for you do not know on what day your Lord is coming. But know this, that if the master of the house had known in what part of the night the thief was coming, he would have stayed awake and would not have let his house be broken into. Therefore you also must be ready, for the Son of Man is coming at an hour you do not expect.

We already saw above what Jesus was concerned about, now we see when and what he likens the destruction of the end to, namely Noah and the flood. Everyone was living out their normal lives when the flood came, they weren't prepared. Remember, preparedness is a key theme. The return of Messiah will be the same way, people will not be prepared and won't realize until the flood, which is the return of messiah in the illustration, is upon them. And by that time what is the state of the person? "The flood came and swept them all away, so will be the coming of the Son of Man".

Now here is the question: Who is "taken" in the destruction? I would say that the text implies that those bound for destruction are taken. Why do we need to be watchful, prepared, or warned if those taken are believers? It would imply that we have to do something when the rapture happened, like hit the "Beam me up, Jesus!" button. Why must we "stay awake"? He answers with another illustration of a servant and master. We must be prepared, not because we are taken in a rapture, but because we are going to be accountable for what we have done with what God has given us, the kingdom work He placed before us. We must be diligent in our devotion in order that we are not caught up in the flood, the destruction that Messiah's return will herald.

The Luke passage says all this more concisely. Luke 17 the author is getting across that we as disciples need to get to the business of doing what ought to be done.
Luke 17:1-4: Jesus pretty much says stop sinning and don't make others sin or you are really screwed.
Luke 17 5-10: Disciples hear this and so "Oh crap, we need more faith if that's the case!" To which Jesus says in illustration form, "You have more than enough for the job, just do your duty. Doing what is right is not hard. Live your life for God not yourself".
Luke 17:11-19: See even a Samaritan leper, the most disgusting thing to the disciples does what is right without being told. Sort of a "in your face" by the author Luke.

This is the background for the passage we want to look at in Luke 17:22-37 which is very, very close to Matthew 24:15-28 whose point was following after false messiahs will condemn those to destruction.
And he said to the disciples, "The days are coming when you will desire to see one of the days of the Son of Man, and you will not see it. And they will say to you, 'Look, there!' or 'Look, here!' Do not go out or follow them. For as the lightning flashes and lights up the sky from one side to the other, so will the Son of Man be in his day. But first he must suffer many things and be rejected by this generation. Just as it was in the days of Noah, so will it be in the days of the Son of Man. They were eating and drinking and marrying and being given in marriage, until the day when Noah entered the ark, and the flood came and destroyed them all. Likewise, just as it was in the days of Lot—they were eating and drinking, buying and selling, planting and building, but on the day when Lot went out from Sodom, fire and sulfur rained from heaven and destroyed them all— so will it be on the day when the Son of Man is revealed. On that day, let the one who is on the housetop, with his goods in the house, not come down to take them away, and likewise let the one who is in the field not turn back. Remember Lot’s wife. Whoever seeks to preserve his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life will keep it. I tell you, in that night there will be two in one bed. One will be taken and the other left. There will be two women grinding together. One will be taken and the other left." And they said to him, "Where, Lord?" He said to them, "Where the corpse is, there the vultures will gather."

The descriptions of Noah and introduction of Lot this time both serve to illustrate the same thing as the Matthew passage. The description of the peoples daily lives reminds me of the folly described in Judges where "everyone did what was right in their own eyes". Previously in the chapter, the author has repeated that following God, obeying, doing what is right are what's important but the people described in the Noah/Lot illustration seem to be going through the motions of life without acknowledging God. They were destroyed and... "So will it be on the day when the Son of Man is revealed". Once again this is a warning. Do not forsake God, let nothing take his place because the consequences are dire: "Let the one who is on the housetop, with his goods in the house, not come down to take them away, and likewise let the one who is in the field not turn back. Remember Lot’s wife". Lot's wife turned back longing for the life she was leaving and she died because of it. Is this all coming together for everyone?

Finally: "'I tell you, in that night there will be two in one bed. One will be taken and the other left. There will be two women grinding together. One will be taken and the other left.' And they said to him, 'Where, Lord?' He said to them, 'Where the corpse is, there the vultures will gather'". If this is about the "rapture of the saints" it is painting a worse picture than any tribulation. From Matthew, we already saw the terribleness of the "corpse/vulture" illustration and now Luke and placed it in direct result of the "taken" passage. If you want to believe that this is teaching that Christians are taken away and the others are left for destruction, you can but it is certainly not what the plain meaning of this passage is pointing to. I asked you to feel for a reason, that reason is because these passages tingle with cold desperation not triumphant escape.

If I just used my brain I may be able to convince myself as some do, that the final illustration is a good thing. The word used for "corpse" in Matthew meant just corpse but here the greek word soma is used which can also mean "body". The word for vultures can also mean "eagles". And so people say: "See! We are taken where? We fly up on wings like eagles around the body of Jesus! Hallelujah". That interpretation goes against any feeling in this passage. It goes against it as a warning, as a call to doing the work of God until the master returns. Instead, we are wisked away from the work of the master in order to sit around until Jesus really comes back. Where is that in this passage? It is no where.

These passages are sobering reminders of the cost of being a disciple but also the overwhelming result for those who are not or are riding the fence saying they follow Jesus but when the rubber meets the road their lives tell a different story. Messiah's return is like a flood and in a flood you are either above the flood waters or you are taken away ("seized"is also a translation for the Greek word used for "taken"). Seized by what? What will cause you to turn back? Pride, possessions, friends, work? They are all called "corpses" that you cling to like a vulture to a dead animal, sucking away the last bits of marrow.

I don't know about you but the last thing I want is to be "taken" as these passages talk about.

All Gone / The Spider Cavern Revisited

I know not many of you have an Xbox 360. You should, then we could play together over Xbox Live. Oh well. I recently signed back up for Xbox Live after a free subscription ran out long ago. I wanted to sign back up to keep in touch with friends back in LA.

All 360 games come with a list of "achievements" for the player to beat in the game. Some you automatically get as you progress through the game, others are hidden. Sometimes they are quite tough, other times they are just pointless and time consuming. I usually bypass those because they take very little skill, just time. I had amassed something like 7000 gamer points, which isn't bad. These are saved on a profile in the box called a "gamer tag".

When I signed back up it retrieved the game tag I had when I last played on Xbox Live. I figured it would just update the old one... nope! All my achievements are gone, actually they are back at 650. And it looks like all my saved stuff is gone too, although it is on the console I can't figure out if I can get the saves back.

I know most of you are saying, "It's just video games." Well it's important to me. So, bite me.

While we're talking about games, The Eric brought to my attention the new Diablo 3.
Eric, Jeff, and I played a lot of Diablo 2. Perhaps one of the most memorable moments between Jeff and I happened while playing that game: The Spider Cavern Incident. I may as well tell it. I've nothing better to do.

(If you don't know what a word is click it because I'm not going to type it all out for you "noobs") The Diablo series is a "dungeon crawler". The 3 of us were playing and Jeff and Eric decided to go into a particular dungeon ahead of me, a dungeon known as "The Spider Cavern". We ventured there to get Khalim's Eye for that old pervert Deckard Cain. Now, they should have waited for me because I was playing my Barbarian who is the classic "tank". Instead Jeff goes charging in with his Paladin and he and Eric are almost instantly destroyed. They respawn and again instantly dead. I see this and I decide maybe I shouldn't go in because everytime you die you lose experience points and when your lvl 80 it takes hours of playing to attain a new level. Everytime you die it's like erasing 5 hours of playing. Meanwhile Jeff has died like 5 times and is screaming at me to get in there. Watching the instant death made me feel like my tank of a barbarian wouldn't make it either. Finally, after many more deaths and a slew of expletives directed toward me: "I'm losing so much cupcake experience! Get the cupcake in there! What the cupcake! Cupcake!". I finally went in and killed all the offending spiders with a barely a scratch to show for it: "Oh I guess it wasn't that bad after all". I have never witnessed Jeff so angry in the tenure of our friendship. It was great. Then Blizzard released the 1.10 patch and made my Barbarian useless. I never used him aain after that, thanks Blizz.

World Of Warcraft sucks.

The Rapture Is A Lie

I am writing this not to put people down, but rather to highlight the frightening lack of intellectualism among Christians. For some, the idea that little rational thought and Christianity often go hand in hand is like commenting that the sky s blue. While I do not feel the same about the detractors, they will look on these ramblings as a bit of silliness. It is my job, literally, to mature Christians in their study of the Bible, and in this I will attempt to do so.

Here is a normal conversation I have with someone:
The topic of rapture somehow comes up. Usually I'm being told how to teach something.
Me - "Yea, I don't believe in a rapture."
Dude - *Blank Stare* "... Don't you read the Bible?"
Me - "Yea. Do you?"
Dude - "Yes, but I guess I take the Bible literally."
Me - "I see. So where does the Bible, literally, talk about a rapture?"
Dude - "Ummm..."
Me - "Why don't you go look it up and we'll talk about it next week."

This is not an uncommon response when it comes to most topics, and in all fairness they don't really need to know it off the top of their head. The hope is that they are going to attempt to rigorously defend a position, that they have given it at least a cursory study. If a person has been spoon fed these ideas and told they are necessary to be a Christian, I will usually start off with a history lesson.

Most people are rather shocked when I tell them that the idea of a rapture is a fairly new innovation, being traced back to the 1830's. (Btw, when you're dealing in thousands of years of tradition, 180 years is considered "new".) The idea started in Britain, where it grew in prominence due to the life and work of John Darby. It is unknown whether Darby really came up with the idea himself. There is evidence that suggests it started with a 15 year old girl in Scotland, Margaret MacDonald, who had a vision of a 2-stage return of Jesus during a Benny Hinn style healing craziness. Darby took this idea and expanded on it when he joined up with the group called the "Plymouth Bretheren". Darby was a hit with these kids and he began teaching a "rapture of the saints" to precede Jesus' return.

While all of this was well and good, we really have the Scofield Reference Bible to thank for our predicament. In 1909, the Scofield Bible began printing and would become the weapon of choice to beat unsuspecting unbelievers over the head, especially during the conception and rise of the "Fundamentalists". And wouldn't you know, rapture was right there in the footnotes telling everyone how and what they ought to believe. (WARNING: DO NOT READ THE STUDY BIBLE FOOTNOTES. ATTEMPT TO THINK FOR YOURSELF) Thank goodness for footnotes! It is from this sordid background that we find the ignoble history of the rapture.

Usually a history lesson isn't quite good enough to cause people to relenquish their death grip on the rapture. I continue the teaching lesson by setting out for the king of supposed rapture prooftexts: 1 Thessalonians 4:15-17.
For this we declare to you by a word from the Lord, that we who are alive, who are left until the coming of the Lord, will not precede those who have fallen asleep. 16For the Lord himself will descend from heaven with a cry of command, with the voice of an archangel, and with the sound of the trumpet of God. And the dead in Christ will rise first. 17Then we who are alive, who are left, will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air, and so we will always be with the Lord.

Every person who I have said, "Why don't you go look it up and we'll talk about it next week" has come back to me with this passage. To be honest, there are other passages people will attempt to bring up but they all share one very significant similarity.

All supposed rapture proof texts are arguments from silence.


Anyway, back to those Thessalonians. Is that passage talking about rapture? No. Is it really concerned with end times at all? Not really. The people are concerned because their fellow Christians have died and everyone thought Jesus would return before anyone died. The point Paul is trying to make is that whether alive or dead, neither is better than the other because all go together to be with Jesus. But we go to meet Jesus in the "air"... huh? That's where Jesus went, if he had gone to Chicago it would say they meet him in Chicago. But we're going to be among the "clouds"... huh? Sure. Are the clouds heaven? Do we stay in the clouds? There are more quesions than answers if you take this to be a rapture text. Not to mention the whole "meet" word in the Greek was the same word used to describe a dignitary who came from a far away land to your country. You then sent men to meet the coming dignitary before they reached your city. What happened next? Did they stay out there? No. Did they go back with the dignitary? No. They escorted the dignitary back to their city. If anything this passage is directly contradicting anything rapture related.

I know there are more passages. Eric and I were talking about this a while ago and he asked me about the Thessalonians passage and what I said about it goes for most rapture proof-texts: If you didn't already have an understanding of what rapture is, would you make the connection that this is teaching Jesus will come to earth, take christians to heaven as a sort of holding tank, then wait around and come back (btw how do you wait around outside of time)? Ridiculous.

My Rock'N'Roll Lifestyle

Rachelle comes home from work and asks what I did today. The answer has been the same the last couple weeks: Watching the Euro Cup in HD and reading. It's been pretty great.

When we decided to move, I didn't want to get any cable or direct tv. Rachelle did though, and I understand that she likes to relax after a long day of work by watching some of her favorite shows. I certainly didn't want to get Tivo, not because I don't like them per se, but because I don't want any machine that helps me watch more TV than I already do. But I have to say that I really have been enjoying the HD channels I never had before for 2 reasons. They look amazing, I can't even tell I'm watching TV instead of a dvd. And there are only about 15 channels; if there aren't anything on those channels I just turn it off. It's great.











The best has been the Euro Cup. You can see the blades of grass on the pitch. Looking forward to the final match between Germany and Spain this Sunday.


Like I said, the only other thing I've really been doing is reading. That's been great too just because my reading has always been forced due to school. Now I get to read what I want to or books I feel would be more helpful in my immediate work.



















I recently finished this book, which was very helpful in framing my goals and intentions when I get into my hospital chaplaincy work. Kubler-Ross was a pioneer in the field of thanatology and the insights she presents are invaluable. I think the most powerful lesson I took from this book was how to talk to children about death. She makes the point that when death is explained to a child either "sleep" is used as an example causing children to believe they will return, or parents simply say "they went to be with Jesus" and how many children view that as a non-answer parents are prone to give, such as "because I said so". Kubler-Ross uses "symbolic language" to honestly deal with the situation and answer the questions they may have.



















I think Jeff probably read this once a year when we were in college, maybe more. I had always wanted to give it a whirl and finally I had the time. I enjoyed it. Read it in just a day and a half. Despite it's futuristic bent/alien war themes it really wasn't as science fiction-y as I thought it would be. More of a war/psychology story set in the future. I did like how Card flushed out the Peter and Valentine characters more. I thought they were only going to be used in the beginning to contrast with Ender but they ended up having a larger role than simply that.



















The sequel to Ender's Game, the two have very little in common other than a changed Ender who was praised in the first book as a hero is now considered a mass murderer. Now Ender must save a new alien species and give a new beginning to the one he destroyed. I thought it was pretty good. I didn't read it as fast as the previous but it still kept my attention. I may continue reading the rest of the series at some point, but for now I have moved on to other fare.

So yea, this is what I do right now. Oh and think heretical thoughts. They're revolving around inerrancy at the moment.

Incoming Threadless

My first San Diego shipment of Threadless shirts are on the way.

Jonah And The Technicolor Whale











The LORD provided a great fish to swallow Jonah, and Jonah was inside the fish three days and three nights. From inside the fish Jonah prayed to the LORD his God. He said: "In my distress I called to the LORD, and he answered me. From the depths of the grave I called for help, and you listened to my cry."

This shirt is great. Great whimsical use of the color, almost like the sinews of the whale are a rainbow masterpiece. The whale's mouth and eye look straight out of the 70's with a huge grin after swallowing up the little Hebrew. Everything's better in technicolor.

Spiritual Symphony Fin


















I have to say, I thought a little while on this one. Not whether I liked it or not, but how people might react to it. Jesus and Moses back to back on dueling guitars, Buddah blissfully playing his "Kasio", and Ganesh rockin' a 3 arm and 1 trunk drum solo. Some people will look at this and see syncretism. I look at it and see the world as it is, with many different faiths. And while I may not believe in all of them, they make up the cultural and spiritual landscape of the people I come in contact with everyday. And through that I understand my fellow man a little more.

Deforestation

















One of the things I have always disagreed with "artsy" people about is that we find our own meaning in the art itself. Bollocks, I say. The only time we find our own meaning is when the author/artist isn't there to tell us what their original thought was. And if they have no original thought, then it isn't very good at all because there is no message to begin with.

I thought I would take the incorrect artists up on their pursuit of no meaning and I gave this a different meaning than was intended. The artist sees this as a sad state of the environment, with rainforests being destroyed everyday. I say that's looking at the glass half empty. I see this and I say, "There is still so many trees for us to cut down!" Soon the world will be one beautiful gray slab of concrete, especially Oregon. That's right Jeff, they're all going down.

Funkalicious














Once my dream of no more trees is realized (and it will be realized), we will all be forced to wear suits pumping pure oxygen. The excess of oxygen will cause us to see mystical technicolor shadows following us around. It will be beautiful and funky. Who wouldn't want to destroy all the trees for that?

The End Of May

The past few weeks have been a flurry of activity.

Rachelle graduated with her Masters of Science in Nursing.














She will now be rockin' the NICU of Sharp Mary Birch Hospital for Women as the Clinical Nurse Specialist.




















I graduated with my Masters of Divinity. I will now be rockin' the trophy husband lifestyle full-time!












Actually, I just heard back from the chaplains at Rady Children's Hospital and they offered me the internship over there. I have no idea how that happened but I'm excited nonetheless. Rachelle's hospital and this one are about 20 yards away from each other. Awesomeness.















I spoke one last time at the Wacc High School service. There wasn't as many people as normal due to the holiday weekend, but it was still great to see everyone I did. If you are so inclined, you may listen here.

The movers came, hauled away all our stuff and then had to lug it up two flights of stairs to our new apartment. The whole process plus driving took about 12 hours. Hiring those movers was some of the best money I have ever spent! If it hadn't been for them, Eric and I would have been moving most the stuff and then, I daresay, he and I wouldn't be friends anymore. Not sure about Eric, but I would hate any person who asked me to willingly go through what they did.

Had the pleasure of meeting my first neighbor during the move. She announced her "welcome" with repeated honkings. The moving truck had partially blocked her garage and she sat behind it wailing on the horn, driving around the lot, and then honking some more. When the mover asked if he could guide her in, she refused because she had to "drive straight in". I then introduced myself as her new neighbor and tried to shake her hand, which she eyed warily not wanting to touch me. I asked if it were at all possible for her to park in the myriad of spots a mere 2 feet away, alas that was too much to ask. We moved the truck so she could drive "straight in" to avoid her calling the rental office because they would "make you move". A fine woman.

Boxes are being unpacked, but still much to do.

Free Rice

Want to donate hundreds, thousands, or millions of grains of rice to needy people around the world without paying a cent? Free Rice is a nonprofit site devoted to giving rice to those in need and all you have to do is brush up on your vocabulary. So far I have donated over 2000 grains and have a vocab high score of 40. Make sure to go to the options tab of the site to save your progress and play everyday!

Ain't No Michael Jackson

We had an event tonight where we introduce incoming Freshman to the High School Ministry. It works like a progressive dinner with each class being represented at a different house. I was manning the Junior house. The new Freshman came, we beat on some pinatas, and then they took off for the next house and left us to clean up the paper mache entrails. Then we went inside and played Super Smash Bros. Brawl until nearly 11pm.

Here's the question: When does it get weird? I am a decade older than these guys. Under normal circumstances, if a 26 year old man was hanging out until late into the night playing video games with High Schoolers... most definitely sketchy. But due to my work and relationship with these guys, it makes it acceptable. But for how long? I have always thought this comparing my age to the students, but thinking about it now it seems better to compare my age to the parents. I guess when you start creeping up on the same age as the parents, you're treading on some fairly weird ground.

Do Work!

I know I was feeling down last night when I wrote my blog. I definitely didn't feel like I did my best work yesterday. Nights like that make me question what the heck I'm doing. As I was thinking about it today, I believe I have fallen into a trap. For some reason, I have this idea that it all should come easy. One small set-back and I'm doubting everything I've been preparing for the last 8 years. Is that lame or what?

I want my work to be challenging and fulfilling. I don't care if that means it might not be easy. So, today I pondered the words of a modern day philosopher: Big Black.

If you know Big Black you know one of his favorite phrases is: "Do work". I have been inspired by these words. Inspired by how no matter how wacky the work that needs to be done is, he still finds a way to make it happen. I want to do whatever it takes to get it done and do my best. Yea, it won't always be the greatest thing ever but I'm going to give it a shot. Next Wednesday is coming soon...

DO WORK SON!!!

Still Looking For The Square Hole

I have grown to respect pastors who preach week in and week out. I have had to preach the last 10 weeks in a row and it has solidified in my mind how it is not for me. Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy teaching and I have become much better over the last 4 years. Rather it is the knowledge that next week is quickly approaching and whether or not I feel like what I have to say will be the least bit edifying, I must preach nonetheless. This is what I feel like my soul cannot abide. A sneaking feeling that I have and will produce mediocre work because I'm really not feeling what I am supposed to be teaching on. If I don't feel like it is going to make much of a difference in my students lives, or that the material is particularly relevant at the time, then I feel like my heart is not in it. And when my heart is not in it, I see a marked difference in my teaching. So what do I do? Fake it? Even if I could, which I can't, I wouldn't want to.

I have to say, I am really disheartened by the whole thing. Even though I knew this about myself before I began; that preaching every week or being a senior pastor was something I never aspired to do. I'm not a preacher, I never have been. It's more something that has been placed on me because of my position and education. While I don't mind doing it every once in a while, it will always be another man's shoes on my feet. I guess the question is: What is it that I ought to be doing?

"Jack of all trades, master of none, though ofttimes better than master of one." This quote, in it's entirety, is pretty much how I feel all of the time. I feel like the devotion of myself to one, and only one thing, is a waste of time. The problem is that I have yet to find a position anywhere for: teacher, preacher, chaplain, graphic artist, zookeeper, writer, and all the other things I want to learn. I know what the square peg feels like as the world tries to hammer it into the round hole.

Kanpai!

God bless the people of Japan. I just got done talking about how I dislike tv shows, but the Japanese never cease to impress. A staple of Japanese TV are the "prank shows". Thanks to Chad for inspiring me.


I nearly died laughing watching this one.


Never trust your friend that unexpectedly stick you in a taxi and tell you to wear a helmet.


To quote The Simpsons: "Our game shows are a little different from yours. Yours reward knowledge we punish ignorance! Our categories are: Ow That Hurts, Why Are You Doing This To Me, Please Let Me Die."

A Foul Creation

People who know me, know that I watch very little television. I really hate tv shows. I don't know of anything that has had more of a debilitating effect on humanity than our devout worship of the people in the box. We wake up with with the perky morning show people. The only thing worse are the people who stand outside their studios with signs for a chance to be caught on tape. Follow that up with the never ending estrogen power hour of celebrity chick interviewers. Dozens of shows, each with five of their own spin-offs. No more names anymore, just initials. It's all just bad. TV Guide has a list of the 50 worst tv shows of all time. The worst part is that the number 1, The Jerry Springer Show, is still on the air!

Having said all that, there remains a few gems that keep me from canceling my Direct TV subscription. In no particular order:

The Venture Brothers
Funny, clever, great characters and great voice talent. It's really the only show I look forward to the new season starting. I give you the first episode of the 2nd season with the best opening of all time care of Aquagen's "Everybody's Free".


Ninja Warrior
Ok yes I do love all things Japanese and their tv shows are no different. I love how contestants and audience get so into it. Ninja Warrior isn't just a reason to be on tv, it's a way of life for many of the people who frequent the show.


Flight Of The Concords
Their music videos are really where it's at.


Metalocalypse
The show follows death metal band Dethklok and their search for all things brutal. In this first episode, the boys make a metal coffee jingle and then spend most of the episode at the grocery store and try to figure out how to cook.


Rob & Big
Becky kept telling me that I needed to check this show out. It's on MTV, which automatically made me set off my "crap meter", but I thought I would give it a shot. It really is funny. It's just the skater Rob Dyrdek and his bodyguard/best friend Big Black hanging out and having fun.

Proof Of Awesome

I got some new Threadless shirts and their new packaging says, "You're awesome and this package is proof". If that wasn't good enough, Threadless is now printing all their new designs on their own brand of soft shirts. They just keep getting better and better.

Now That's Dope
Rachelle makes fun of me because of the vocabulary I have picked up from working with High School students. One of the more prolific words that we use is "dope". Two war veterans kickin' back with the gramophone, listening to some dope tunes. Sounds nice.

One Handprint Of Nature
I liked this design's depiction of the interconnectedness of humanity and nature. It's such a simple concept and execution. It's one of those designs I see and say, "Why didn't I think of that?"

Goliath
I don't know why I like this one so much, maybe it's the sneakers. Also, is it a coincidence that this was printed at the same time that The Mars Volta's new album "The Bedlam In Goliath" came out? I don't think so. Here they are at the Troubador... sadly I wasn't there.

Secrets Of Mensa
Finally a shirt to help me fake it. Now if only I could actually grow a beard.

Happy End
Poor King Kong. I never really understood why he was so enamored with the puny blonde woman. When you're that size you don't get a lot of options when it comes to the ladies. A gigantic French babe? He could do worse.

Aesthetic Truculency
Justice.

It's Always Midnight Somewhere
This is probably my favorite of the new purchases. The design was submitted as part of a contest with the theme of "Midnight Movie". It's a mashup of the old school wolfman thrillers and the classic film "Casablanca" with Humphrey Bogart and Ingrid Bergman in their signature pose. It's beautiful.

San Diego Bound

Rachelle and I will be moving to San Diego at the end of May.

I know what some of you are thinking, "Where did this come from?". Well, it's actually been in process for about 5 months. Back in October, Rachelle contacted Sharp Mary Birch Hospital for Women about a job opening in the NICU for a Clinical Nurse Specialist. Early this year she went in for an interview, spoke with the Nurse Manager, and saw the unit. After a glowing recommendation from Rachelle's friend and CNS mentor over at UCI Medical Center, she was called to come in for a second interview. The interview lasted all day long. She was questioned by six different panels of doctors, nurses, CNSs, administration, etc., after which she was told that they would inform her of their decision by the end of the week. Of course, they offered her the job and after a very difficult week of deliberation she decided to take it. I think it is a great opportunity for Rachelle. This unit is much larger than the one at her current hospital, it's a much more academic setting, and, I believe, it will challenge her to do so much more with her talents.

What will I be doing? No idea.

San Diego Zoo?? *shrugs*

8-Bit Thinking

For years the gaming industry has sat on a gold mine, with what appeared to be no idea who their audience was or is. They had fallen into the belief, one held by so many people, that video games are for children and teens. I don't know how this came to be, or how it even makes sense. More games are released with a rating of "mature", ages 17+, than ever before. These games are for adults and yet they have historically been marketed so poorly that you had to do research to know when a game was coming out and whether it would be worth the buy, having never seen a commercial for it. It's 8-bit thinking. When Nintendo and the Famicom were the pinnacle of gaming the games were, frankly, ugly. Don't get me wrong, the games were great and I still play them but how do you advertise Donkey Kong? Show a picture of the screen with our favorite plumber running back and forth? Not exactly great advertising material. By the time the consoles had become established, the gaming community had become so niche that advertising seemed to go the way of the dinosaur, except around Christmas. But it seems to be changing.

What does it take to see a change? Money. 8-bit thinking went away as soon as people who played those 4, 8, 16, 24, 64-bit games got a real job and started spending their hard earned cash on what they always loved, video games. Gaming is big buisness. Last year Vivendi and Ubisoft combined to become the second largest gaming behemoth behind Electronic Arts. Over 10 million people subscribe for $15 a month to Blizzard Entertainment's "World of Warcraft" (Blizzard by the way is owned by parent company Vivendi). Projections show the game industry soon beating out even the motion picture studios. And with all this capital comes better, sorry ACTUAL, advertising.

The change has been coming for a while but I realized how effective it could be when I first saw the trailer for Gear Of War using the Gary Jules' cover of Tears For Fears' "Mad World".


I read reviews from teens saying how terrible the commercial was... the fools. This commercial was not made for you. In order to get everything out of this advertisement you need to love the 80's new wave band Tears For Fears. But they use the Gary Jules version which is from what has become a cult classic "Donnie Darko". Not to mention that the cinematic is gorgeous. All these add up to ADULTS who want to buy this game. The first time I saw it on TV I was in awe.

And now that they understand, "Oh yea, let's combine these amazing games with frickin great music and sell them like the pieces of gold that they are!" it's a snow ball effect. I saw this yesterday.


I read on the forums, "I don't get this song for the trailer". Holy crap man they're playing "White Rabbit" by Jefferson Airplane! They could be selling me cancer and I would buy it. I'd buy because it's amazing how far we've come. I would have never thought we'd see good advertising for good games using amazing rock music. I'm bemused by all it's glory. We will use all of this to solidify our numbers and then the nerds will overthrow their oppressors and the war will begin. Join us now or be assimilated later. Resistence is futile.