Go Read A Book

A book must be an ice-axe to break the seas frozen inside our soul. ~Franz Kafka

1/3 of high school graduates never read another book for the rest of their lives. Many do not even graduate from high school.

58% of the US adult population never reads another book after high school.

42% of college graduates never read another book.

80% of US families did not buy or read a book last year.

70% of US adults have not been in a bookstore in the last five years.

57% of new books are not read to completion.

Stats found at http://www.parapublishing.com

Advertising Helps Me Decide

The Steve has a shirt that proudly explains "Advertising Helps Me Decide". Just how much does advertising influence us?

Viva La Computadora

My beloved, my firstborn, died Friday night rather unexpectedly...

Yes, my 12" Powerbook decided to eat itself the other night. They say children are the image of their parents, and this case seems to prove it. Annoyingly, it decided to croak at pretty much the worst possible moment for me. Pretty much giving me the middle finger. You see, it decided to bite the dust as I was finishing up what I would be teaching on Sunday which meant that I had to retype a bunch of stuff on Saturday. I wasn't pleased. The culprit of this catastrophic system failure? According to the computer demigods, The Steve and The Eric, my video RAM and logic board are kaput. Most likely due to the high levels of heat that have been associated with the laptops. It used to get extremely hot during gaming, video editing, even just having Microsoft Word and iTunes open.

The sad thing was that it had just met it's new younger brother. Little Pan is new to our household and yet we love him so very much.

Let me introduce Panasonic's new 50" plasma TV displaying in 1080p. That right there is a little game we like to call Gears Of War which looks phenomenal in HD. I've also been playing Super Mario Bros. on it, in all of it's pixelated glory. The Koopa Troopas are like the size of my fist!

Rachelle and I are back to sharing a computer at the moment. Sometimes I browse the internet on the Wii but that Opera browser on there has been a bit buggy. Hopefully I will soon be posting about a replacement child in the near future.

I Welcome Our New Rulers

Have you ever looked into the face of a god and said to yourself, "I think I could take'em!"? Perhaps I spin of the impossible. Not because there is no god, but rather because we have set them up so that it would be impossible; and therefore have already lost if we were ever put in a position where it would be essential to, to use the common vernacular, "bodog a god".

Let's set our sights lower then. Maybe not a "god" per se, perhaps a demigod. A man or woman with a fiery look about them that you knew was not of this earth. Certainly there was some sort of cosmic knocking of the boots that hewed them from their fleshy progenitors. Have you ever looked into the face of a demigod and said to yourself, "I think I could take'em!"? Of course you have. I don't believe there is a man, woman, or child on the planet who hasn't. The reason: handguns.

The 28th Amendment clearly states that, "Every citizen able, willing or not, to carry a handgun must do so in order to thwart the ever increasing threat of demigods aka 'freaks'". It is our moral and national obligation to send these sons and daughters of the pantheon back to Hades... with extreme prejudice. What? You say the complex loading mechanism is too difficult for your toddler to handle? If The Simpsons have taught us anything, it's that a piece of wood with a nail in it is sufficient to drive away an evil alien overlord. Even sharpening their beloved linkin logs into miniature stakes can be an effective tool.

Don't think of it as an obligation, it is though, rather think of it as a joyful expression of patriotism. Nothing says "God Bless America" like a decapitated Cupid at your feet. You may be thinking what I'm thinking. Whose going to clean up all this blood and the sheer volume of limbs strewn about? A recently discovered avian species, pigeonis giganticus, are being sailed into port. One Longshoreman was quoted to have said, "Whooooaa, that's a big pigeon". He later slipped and fell into one of the bird's droppings which was the size of a Buick. His memorial will be held Friday.

The Whale Spat Me Back Out

The rustling of keys is heard along with muffled profanity from outside the door.

The door finally squeaks open, displaying an emaciated gentlemen with a bowler cap under one arm and fist tightly clinching the handle of a worn, leather attache case.

He stumbles into his living room, tripping over the steamer trunk he used for a coffee table. It was all he had to use since Marigold left him.

Collecting himself, he surveyed the surroundings that he had once know so well. Now foreign to him.

He straightenedup, which to the casual observer had the effect of an increase in height no less than one half inch, and said, "I havn't always been faithful. I have, in fact, behaved rather caddishly. But, we will always have each other."

It was obvious he had been rehearsing the speech, but the room was happy none the less.