You Were Right

Last week I officially finished my first unit of Clinical Pastoral Education towards being accredited as hospital chaplain. For our final meeting we had to complete an exit interview report that turned out to be about 9 pages long. One of the questions asked: "What patient relationships have meant the most to you..." and I answered from the last 6 months with two patients. One is Shaya.

Shaya is vampire loving, cynical, goth, funny, black wearing, moody, anime watching teenager that I have been visiting for the past 5 months. Needless to say, we get along famously. She is a resident in our critical care facility at the hospital that is reserved for medically fragile children. When I say "resident", I mean that she lives at the hospital. She is restricted to a ventilator to always keep her lungs working whether in bed or in her wheelchair. When I visit her, she is home. It's different than a patient in the hospital proper. We hang out. Talk about guys that she likes, I help her with her homework, we play games, talk about her artwork, I am broadening her anime horizons which we occasionally watch together. Sometimes we talk about spiritual things, sometimes about how she's feeling, sometimes I just keep her company. When I was first getting to know her, she and the nurses hazed me one night during karaoke... yea that's right karaoke... in which they made me sing "Material Girl" by Madonna. Last Saturday was the annual Christmas Party and Shaya said she didn't want to get her picture taken with Santa and Mrs. Claus. So I made a deal with her. We would both be in the picture and I would sit on Mrs. Claus' lap, which I of course did and I think Mrs. Claus enjoyed. There were many families there that day and everyone seemed to have a good time. The party was from 1-3pm and about 4pm I decided I decided I best head out. Shaya put up a fuss like normal and finally let me go saying: "You're going to miss me."

Shaya died yesterday, Christmas Eve. Her last day on earth was spent talking with the San Diego Charger's LaDainian Tomlinson, better known as LT, in which she was interviewed, and subsequently on the evening news, during his time passing out presents at the hospital. Then she sweet talked the staff into giving her her Christmas presents early. Finally, she stayed up until 1am with another resident watching movies. Four hours later she passed away.

I knew when I began work at the hospital that I would experience loss. On average, a child dies at the hospital every other day. That isn't something I like to relegate to a ratio, but it is what it is. And it's not like I am a stranger to loss either. That's part of the reason why I wanted to go into this field; I know what it's like to have a loved one die. But this was Shaya , she wasn't sick, she was fine. She was not the page I was expecting to wake up to. 20 minutes later I wasn't greeted by her when I walked into her room this time rather by her intensely grieving parents. If you had told me that my Christmas Eve would be spending 4 1/2 hours being with Shaya's parents as I helped them mourn her loss and helped the staff mourn her loss, I wouldn't have wanted to believe it. But...

There is no place on earth I would have rather been at that moment than right there with them.

And she was right. I do miss her.

James Jean

I have held a love for the work of James Jean since I first stumbled upon his work while sifting through the garbage heap that is the interwebs. Ever since then I have lurked his website and blog, drooling over beautiful artwork and reading the interesting comments he put forth on his work. I would love to own one of his pieces, I often peruse his available prints looking for something that would be remotely acceptable to Rachelle.

He has a show coming up in New York. Stupid New York. Not to mention, a few months ago he announced that he would no longer be illustrating the covers for Fables. Sadness. Check out his stuff, buy it, love it, tell your friends about it.

Hitchhiker's Guide To Soft Drinks

If you find yourself travelling around the country and incredibly parched, make sure to keep this graph with you other wise you may unwittingly order the wrong soda.. er... coke... I mean... pop. Screw all of them, I ask for a Dr. Pepper! Dr. Pepper is what Jesus drinks. I bet the Anti-Christ will love Dr. Pepper too. I bet that will be confusing for them. You know when there is someone that you really can't stand, yet they have a similar love that you have? And you think to yourself: "How can they love that too? I hate everything about them" so part of you respects them for that one thing despite all the bad blood between you both. Yea, that's going to be Dr. Pepper for Jesus and, from the emails I see flying around the interwebs, Obama.

CHRI$TMA$

How much are you going to spend (already have?) on Christmas? Last year, Americans spent a whopping $474 billion dollars during the holiday season. I have included this interesting little piece of statistics for all those interested. My favorite part is the section about "holiday debt" that states that "16.8%" of total American credit card debt for 2007 was tallied during the months of November and December. Oh yea, and "1/3 of the consumers were still paying off debt from teh 2006 holday season".

Remember to make wise purchasing decisions or... "conspire".

The Crisis Is Only Just Beginning?

Per Wikipedia: "AIDS has killed more than 25 million people between 1981 and 2007, and an estimated 33 million people worldwide live with HIV as of 2007, making it one of the most destructive epidemics in recorded history. Despite recent, improved access to antiretroviral treatment and care in many regions of the world, the AIDS epidemic claimed an estimated 2 million lives in 2007, of which about 270,000 were children."

AIDS is an epidemic. In that epidemic, much has been done to combat the virus. It's been 20 years and in our financially declining country, I wonder how well our money has been spent? Don't get me wrong, I think we ought to continue to take steps to promote AIDS awareness and fight the disease. But, I think, we must also realize that it is one of many diseases out there, with others having a far worse impact than AIDS does. As staggering as the numbers above are, more children die from pneumonia than AIDS, malaria, and measles combined.

"In Ethiopia, Rwanda, Uganda and elsewhere, donations for HIV projects routinely outstrip the entire national health budgets. In a 2006 report, Rwandan officials noted a 'gross misallocation of resources' in health: $47 million went to HIV, $18 million went to malaria, the country's biggest killer, and $1 million went to childhood illnesses... But across Africa, about 1.5 million doctors and nurses are still needed, and hospitals regularly run out of basic medicines."

AIDS is a global problem. But I think it has received the financing and awareness that it has, frankly, because it's a disease that Americans face. We like to talk about AIDS, it's an acceptable part of our culture. How many people want to talk about children all over the world dying of diarrhea? How many people even think that that still occurs today?

I hope I haven't offended anyone with this. I think that AIDS research and funding are great and want to promote them. At the same time, I look around and think: "The money is going to run out sometime, who needs it the most?". I really hope that it doesn't run out and we can continue to fight suffering of all kinds and on all fronts. But as today is supposed to remind us, it takes awareness to make that happen.